Forgotten tales

I totally forgot to tell you all about meeting my tutor. The details...

I was sitting in the train station waiting for him to pick me up. I was on Skype with my dad, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a man with a camera taking a picture of me.... I thought that's weird, probably it's him, and yes, he walked up and gave me the biggest hug! It wasn't awkward, but he lifted me up and then we went to catch a bus. Keep in mind this is 6:30am.

When we got to his house, I could tell why he didn't want me to stay there. He was great in finding me hosts, but breakfast was at his house. His mom was cooking, and she speaks zero english. My tutor acted as translator...and he translated everything. Including when his mom asked how much I weigh. She actually looked me up and down and asked how much I weigh. It was extremely awkward. Also, my tutor didn't want any photos of him posted, so there's no proof we even met!

Other than that strange conversation and the awkward moments in his house. He kept apologizing for not being able to have me stay there. I was so thankful I wasn't staying there! It was pretty rundown, the water didn't work, but mostly the language barrier with his mom would have been painful to deal with everyday.

I didn't spend a lot of time with him during my 5 days in his city. I had other friends and I had to spend time with my hosts as well. I'm satisfied with the time we did spend together walking or at english club.

So that's that lame story! Sorry it wasn't more exciting! I know everyone thought I would fall in love, but there was none of that, I promise you.

Now I'm in Holland where tall men are everywhere! It's just nice to look at least :)

Russian Ramblings...

Nothing new on the love front... Every trip I've been on, there is one whirlwind romance, so I do believe I've met my quota for this trip. I do have some funny stories to share though...

Tattoo

My tattoo is really hurting lately! It's itchy like a sunburn and scabbing over. Since it is so irritated, I am unable to shave that part of my leg. Right now, the doll's face has hair growing out of it. Which is actually authentic Russian ;) Women in the Caucasus mountain area tend to have very hairy faces. I've been thinking of leaving the hair long where the dog is...making it a 3D tattoo :p

Lessons learned

In Russia, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand! I couldn't believe it. But it's tradition. One story I heard is that most people wipe their ass with their left hand, so why would you wear your wedding ring on your ass wiping hand? Personally, I use my right hand, so wedding ring on the left works fine for me! Now I know to check both hands before pursuing a man. 

Learning Russian

I have yet to improve my Russian. The second someone speaks to me in Russian (usually far too quickly to understand) I shut down and just say sorry I don't speak Russian. I know I should be practicing, but it is far too overwhelming. I can read cyrillic almost perfectly now, but maybe when I am home I can get my vocabulary up to snuff. I met a woman from Ohio who has lived in Russia for 15 years and still speaks terrible Russian. It made me want to quit trying right then and there. How can someone who is literally around the language all day not be able to pick it up? It goes to show how difficult Russian really is.

The ex-factor

I tell yah, the weirdos sure come out of the woodwork when you show up on national television!

First off my high school sweetheart wrote me a message on Facebook ...

" Just thought I'd Let you know my my wife has Been Keeping up with your Blogs and is addicted lol. Just thought I'd Tell you. And That and We saw you on TV and WAS like ... "Weird, I used to bang her "hahahahahaha lol well good job"

Yes ... the poor capitalization choices are all his. Great. The five years we were together and almost getting married can be summed up as "I used to bang her." What I take from this message is he is extremely envious of my freedom and unhappy with his pitiful life. (Nothing against being married with kids, but come on ... he married a whale).

It's sad really. I wish I could free him of his shackles and let him fly away like the caged bird that he is. But that's his choice!

Next, my latest ex wrote me on Facebook late last night. This is the one I'm most confused about. We ended on non-speaking terms. He promised to bring back some stuff I left at his place, and never did. I ended up dropping off his items on his porch. That was three weeks ago and I heard absolutely nothing. No thank you. No sorry I was really busy. Then, after my big TV debut, I get this ...

"Hey, how have the Olympics been?"

Really ... That's it? You saw my Interview on TV - so you know damn well How the Olympics have Been. I have toiled with the idea of not just writing HIM back at All. Thankfully his message was short enough I was able to see it without opening it ... (whoever invented the 'read' function on FB messenger should go to hell ..)

I will wait a few days. Prove I'm uber busy. Then possibly write back "It's been epic." That's all.

As for my dutchman situation, I have come to embrace the experience and drop the guilt. He's married, not me. And I really didn't know at first. The way he persued me the first night ... stalking me outside the bathroom and then aggressively kissing me means he knew exactly what he was doing. I guess I'm just so irresistible ;) I will be proud of the sexy dutchman notch on my belt. That's the end of that! And if I happen to go to Rio in 2016 ... well we'll see. Might be I send him an email ;)

In the meantime, I'm giving my body A well-deserved break from sex and liquor. My Dutchman did a number on me. Bruises to prove it! I'll be away from the internet for a while, but now I go to meet my tutor! (Who I used to be in love with online). Wish me luck!

Lying Dutchman

Wow. I went from a serious grandma (going to bed early, keeping to myself) to my old train wreck ways in one night. On Friday I went to the wine bar again. When my dutchman strolled in we had a quick chat. He had to work really early and was going to bed. This was our conversation:

Dutchman: Hello Canada.
Me: You still can't remember my name!
Dutchman: Does it matter?
Me: I guess not.
Dutchman: Do you remember my room number?
Me: Why? So I can come to your room and watch you sleep? You work early.
Dutchman: I'll wake up for you.
Me: Maybe ... baby. I must go to my friends and be social, and besides ... my wine is empty.

So I Drank. and Drank. Red Wine by the bottle. Karaoke bars are my weak point. I sang Elton John's 'your song' to a roaring applause. Of course I worked the room, got down on the floor and serenaded many. I'm sure it must have been 2 am when I stumbled to the dutchman's room. Poor guy was dead sober but still welcomed me with open arms. Two times makes it not a one night stand ... right? At least I got my sock back from the night before!

The rest gets pretty patchy from there. From what I've been told ... I sang and sang (It's 5 bucks to sing a song!) And was doing duets with journalists from work. Then ... I managed to find the ugliest british guy and was foolish. The reason I know this? He is friends with my coworker and the next day at work I was shamed by the photos. I don't know how I could go from having sex with a beautiful and experienced man to making out like mad with a british troll ... IN THE SAME NIGHT! The poor bloke tried to add me on facebook too. I don't want to be rude, but he truly is a troll. I was not thinking!

I took Saturday night off to recuperate. Two day hangovers are the worst ... My photo manager text me saturday night, telling me my dutchman was at the bar, looking lonely. I'm not going to lie ... I was tempted to go over there for round three.

Round three came Sunday night, but this time it got complicated. I googled him. Turns out he is quite a good photographer. Wins awards all over the world. I was quite proud to have nailed that actually ... until I saw his birth year. 1974. He is 40 years old! FORTY! Closer to my dad's age than mine! Yikes. I was shocked. I know age means nothing ... but my rule is no more than 10 years. 

My friend and I got to the wine bar early to watch the closing ceremonies. My dutchman's friends were there and sure got chatty with me. One of them is about fifty and wouldn't take his eyes off me. Slightly disturbing. I sang 'girls just wanna have fun' with my friend and put on a jolly good show. Then my dutchman walked in. Blazed right past me.

I sang another song, then sat at the back of the room where I was totally approachable. My next song was again, Elton John, and my dutchman got up and walked out. My heart dropped. I know my singing is terrible ... but enough for him to leave the room? After my performance (which was more epic than the night before) I went outside to sulk. This is when the 50 year-old friend approached me. We talked ... bad idea .... He told me my dutchman is married. My jaw dropped. This couldn't be. I could understand thursday night when we were both drunk out of our trees, but friday he was totally sober. Knew exactly what he was doing. Perhaps his avoidance came from guilt?

His friend brought me to another bar where my dutchman had gone. I approached him at the bar and we had 'the talk.' First of all about his age. He swears his website is wrong and he was born in '75 and is in fact 38. Regardless, he is still married. Which was our next topic of discussion. The dude has even been wearing his wedding ring. How could I have been so blind! 

I Told he must have HIM A woman in every city. He swore up and down he does not do this That Often. There's something about me that 'makes him hard.' I don't know why I reassured him that what's done is done and what happens in Russia stays in Russia. Despite knowing the truth, I still wanted him.

For the first time, I stayed in his room after sex. We held each other and talked. he wouldn't talk about his family, so he mostly asked me questions about myself. He still couldn't remember my name. We had sex again and again. He gave me one of the medals from the closing ceremony. Still no dutch pin ... I didn't leave until 6:45 am. Our post-coital cuddle made me feel the most guilty. I should have just left, but I couldn't. When I eventually got home at 7am, I had breakfast. I fell asleep at the table and got kicked out. Now I sit here, hungover as all hell, and can't believe how things changed so fast.

Double Dutch

I finally went out and drank in Sochi! About time! My mate passed the babysitter test and we went dancing at a pub down the street. I was making eyes at a reporter from Russia Channel 1 all night, but then a Dutch photographer walked in and took interest.

We danced and I asked him for a dutch pin. He told me it was back in his room, and he promised it was a very nice pin at that ;) Oh the pin craze. I told him I will do anything for a pin....

I went to the washroom because I was literally shitting pure liquid all day. I don't feel sick at all, but my body must be rejecting something. Maybe it's the yogurt here. I drank a huge container of it! On my way out of the washroom, there was the dutchman. We started making out. He's a bit old for me, 33, but super sexy so I thought why the heck not!

My wingman and I followed the dutchman back to a winebar in his hotel complex. Most of our friends were there actually and we had a marvelous time! The brit on our team saw me and said "You know, you don't look half bad without your glasses on!" What a douchebag. (I've taught everyone this term, they had no clue what a douche was before I showed up!)

Maybe the lack of glasses is a good thing. I didn't pay for any of my drinks! The dutchman kept the red wine flowing. Around 2am, I went back to his room. Thankfully he has no roommates, but he only has a single bed. I didn't plan on staying over, so it didn't make a difference.

All I will say is...the Dutch never disappoint ;) I am meeting him at the winebar again tonight.

This was not expected at all. Last time I went out every russian was smoking, and that is a huge turnoff. However I managed to find myself a clean, fully-loaded foreigner to nail. I wish I would have started going out sooner! But my night shifts hinder that big time. Three days left. I wonder how much more fun I can have with my dutchman...

Russian update

No love from Russia either... but I may have a crush on my press conference manager...we stayed late at work together on Valentine's day and he gave me some chocolate. Every man in the world knows the way to a woman's heart is through chocolate :) We went back to our hotel together on the bus, and chatted the whole time. I'm helping him with his 'r' pronunciation. The russians really roll their r's. He repeats the phrase "reduce, reuse, recycle" everyday now. Other than language training, nothing has come of this crush yet. There are so many hot russian women around...I probably don't stand a chance.

The other day I had a really sour experience. I bought a ticket to speed skating off a fellow Canadian, only to find out he overcharged me by DOUBLE! It said right on the ticket he paid 1000 roubles, and he charged me 2000. That's an extra 30$. It just left such a sour taste in my mouth. Also, there was a big party at Canada house, but of course I had to work. I work every night, until 1 am, plus 2 hours to get home. I am not a night owl first off, and then I miss all the events I'd like to see.

I've become good friends with a girl from work. If we didn't get home at 3am from work, I'm sure we'd go out and have a ball. The next couple of shifts will end earlier, so I am looking forward to having a life. My ankle will probably get in the way, but I want at least one night of fun. I love being here. I'm not homesick yet. But I'm not taking advantage of the Russian spirit yet. I'm also not speaking any Russian. It's just so damn hard and in english I can tell stories and share experiences. If I go party though, In a way I'm worried I'll go to far like usual. But I think my new work friend will keep me in line. I may have found a suitable babysitter ;) I'll focus on my ankle the next few days and hopefully let loose on closing ceremony day!

A lot of people come up to me and start yammering in Russian. They just assume I am a local. I've been told I look Russian...which I'm not sure is a compliment or not.

Now that I can't run, I'm pretty upset actually. That was the one thing I really looked forward to everyday. It kept me calm, gave me a mission in life fitness wise. The doctor told me two weeks of no activity. Well, expect a chubster when I get back then! Running was keeping me trim with all the heavy carb foods here. Now I'm not sure what I will do. Eat less I guess...but I LOVE FREE FOOD!

Another downer ... I've been told we can't travel with our visa. That means no Vladimir in Russian visa and then tell me I can't take a train to another city. It's a Russian visa...not a Sochi visa. I'll find out the truth soon and let you guys know. I have to meet Vladimir! I can't make another trip over here for that. This is my last chance.

Don't worry about me. I do like being here. I have a massive bathtub in my room. Somedays I just sit in there soak and pretend I'm home. Also, it's 15 degrees here almost everyday. Sometimes more. I am not missing out on all the cold you've been having. By the time I'm back at the end of March, winter will have released its' grip on Alberta and I will be glad to come back ;)

No love from Canada

Howdy all,

You may be wondering where all my scandalous stories are. I thought I'd be rocking and rolling with athletes by now, but alas, I am not. My first and greatest cockblock is my 70 year-old roommate. She's a doll from Arizona, but late/drunken nights would not be up her alley. Also, the volunteers here are 70% women. If I was a dude, I'd be in HEAVEN I tell yah!

I sent an email to my dear poet in Calgary. FOUR DAYS AGO...and nothing back. I hate to admit I let him under my skin...but I must have if his rejection stings a little. When I emailed him in Canada, he replied within minutes! This is what I wrote...does it not qualify at least a "glad you made it" or "be safe over there!" :( SADNESS

Zdrasvootye from Russia!
After almost being trampled yesterday I seem to be settling in! Internet is sparse at best, so telling my family I'm alive was extremely delayed.I wanted to thank you for taking me out Friday. Dinner was lovely and Woody's was a blast. The hangover that followed however... Followed me all the way to Moscow ;)I hope all is well! 


I did have a run-in here with a very nice fresh-faced russian named Sergey. He came onto my bus and literally starred at me. For an entire minute before asking where I was from. He asked a few more questions, then said I was beautiful. If only this would happen in Canada more often. My smile beamed from ear to ear, then he asked if I had any pins. The poor boy was just sucking up to get my Canadian pins... :(

Next encounter of the less-fair sex was on my run this morning. I went to Sochi yesterday and spent a whopping 125$ on running shoes! I'd never spend that much back home! Anyways, my goal is to go for a jog every day. On said jog, I ran into (not literally) a guy from Kazakhstan. We chatted for a bit and oogled over the cutest puppy. He then proceeded to give me a souvenir from his country. Of course I hadn't brought any Canadiana with me on my jog, so I had nothing to give him in return. I went on my merry way and about a half hour later I turned around frantically to run back and at least ask his name. I forgot I have a phone now so I could text someone locally....alas he was no where to be found.

Lessons learned?

1. Get their phone numbers? Even if it's harmless cute texts and a silly walk along the beach, it's better than nothing...
2. Wear makeup!! These two encounters only happened when I had myself dolled up. Clearly I need it
3. Lastly, learn more russian! For god's sake, I'm in the country so I should make a better effort to learn the language. It may help me with the men...